Andrea Scher

Get comfy, take a moment to give yourself a nice, deep neck massage and get ready for an incredible conversation today…

Listen or Download the Interview

  {47 mins, 45 secs}

About Andrea

Andrea Scher is a creative entrepreneur, writer and life coach living in Berkeley, California. Through her company Superhero Designs and award-winning blog Superhero Journal, Andrea inspires other creative souls to live authentic, colorful and extraordinary lives. Andrea first introduced the Mondo Beyondo concept on her blog in 2004 and is widely recognized as a seasoned practioner of the kind of practical and outrageous magic Mondo Beyondo espouses.

You can also find Andrea over at Superhero Photo, an inspiring e-course that lives in that sweet spot where creativity and personal growth intersect.

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Where do you recognize an underlying belief of “story” that doesn’t serve you?  Tell us what struck you from this interview, your ah-ha moments, your thoughts and your feedback in the comments below!

{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }

Angela February 15, 2012 at 5:23 pm

Wow – so many good thoughts while listening! So good to hear I’m not alone with struggles of being a mom + feeling you have to justify + boiling points… which I for sure reach when I have too much static, not enough quiet, reflective time – & there are a few other things that can cause : )

Lisa… so very true about our bodies never lying. (This played out huge for me yesterday – and actually led to me listening to your interview with Renee.)

As a more “seasoned” mom (10 & 8 y-o boys – funny how I can look back & say what I should of done!) I wish I would’ve listened to what my body / heart / etc was telling me. From finding right fit for a playgroup (listen to how you feel – you little one will be just fine finding a new one) to ensuring you are taking care of YOU (since at that time I was a SAHM, I felt I didn’t “earn” the right to have “time off”, truly fun to me things, etc.).

Andrea… loved hearing how you personally feel with media. While I absolutely get value from some, I can also waste a ton of time. Was reading a business book the other day that was all about being successful =’s devoting huge amounts of time to social media. It’s neat that we can all have a different definition of “success” I guess : )

Lisa – it’s so awesome to be “in” on these wonderful conversations!

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Lisa February 17, 2012 at 1:02 am

Mmm…isn’t that the truth of coming to trust and take action on the wisdom of our own intuition — it’s like a muscle we have to keep using in order for it to get stronger.

Thank YOU for being “in” these conversations too!

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Nicky Gilkison February 15, 2012 at 7:46 pm

I am listening in and out of doing morning stuff. So many points to enter in to this converstaion with my experience. I’ve just had a phone call so I’ll have to listen again to catch up, but there is so much to hear that I’d have to listen again anyway. Same for yesterday too. This is a great aural resource. My mothering experience is that at age 49 I have a 20 year old son and a daughter who was 24 when she died 3 Decembers ago in a car accident. I am also step mother to a beautiful 26 year old daughter. There is so much of another mother journey around losing a child-and there is too much to write now before work in a short post. But listening here feels as real to me as it would were I a new mother or mother to young children. The view alters and is somehow deepened and brought into sharper focus by grief, which makes the experience more intense and painful, but more intensley real as well, just as birthing children made my experience of being human more intense and real. That’s all I can say for now. Thank you for this gathering. Nicky

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Lisa February 17, 2012 at 1:03 am

Thank you for your thoughts, Nicky- so appreciate you took the time to share in the midst of your day. Wishing you peaceful blessings through this whole series.

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Betsy Owen February 16, 2012 at 6:06 am

The word that comes to mind from listening in today and yesterday is RELIEF. Utter relief that there are beautiful women out there who have words to describe the thoughts and feelings within. I am a stay home mom to an amazing 14 month old boy and I am so blessed to be listening to the wisdom being shared. I keep thinking, gosh I wish I knew these things earlier in mommy-hood, yet in my core I know I was not ready within the first year. It is as if I had to struggle with my own will and expectations of myself as a mother before I could face the reality that I can not survive without SUPPORT, without SELF CARE, without my husband as an equal in raising our son, without PATIENCE, ahhh there is so much more, so much more. I really am still processing all the gentle love of the MAPP gathering. I am just so grateful and truly look forward to the journey. Thank you again.

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Lisa February 17, 2012 at 1:04 am

Beautiful- your word: Relief! Yes! and so many other words that came too…grateful for your sharing!

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Kathy February 17, 2012 at 10:48 am

Thank you so much Lisa and Andrea for his honest conversation that I needed to hear. It’s late and I’m a tired mother of 2 little ones. My son turned three today, three years of full time mothering and like Andrea I had a period of infertility and was then completely floored when my son was born. What a HUGE journey motherhood is. It is a blessing to have come accross your work Lisa. I feel a part of this powerful and wise circle of women you have created and the timing is perfect. There is so much in these first two talks that is my life and I am grateful to hear that other women are experiencing the exact same thing, it is reassuring. I feel supported and I look forward to having the time to sit, listen and write notes. I have been listening while tiding and doing the dishes of course. Thank you so much, I am very grateful to be here.

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Lisa February 25, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Grateful YOU are here, Kathy and that these conversations are supporting you!

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Naomi February 17, 2012 at 5:52 pm

Yes – “motherhood is a crucible and a refiner!” I’m being refined and not sure what my “great work” is yet. I also agree that motherhood forces you to be the best version of yourself. Or rather “invites” I think is a better word. Motherhood invites you to be the best version of yourself. Because we do have a choice, don’t we? The journey is in saying “YES” to that choice, sometimes day by day, hour by hour.

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Kathleen February 18, 2012 at 3:28 pm

I love that, Naomi, that “motherhood invites you to be the best version of yourself.” So, so true. I really loved that part of the interview too and I love your take on it. It is a constant journey for me. On some days, I am so depleted for many reasons that I find it difficult to accept that invitation and on other days it is a joy to truly try to be my best self and to model that for my children. Sometimes I really do need QUIET, as Andrea mentions at the end, to re-group and re-energize myself. I too will often drive without anything on in the car because I just savor the quiet and the space to think and breathe without noise. I also am making a concerted effort right to reign in my media use (and it’s probably not too much already compared to some people) and to be very conscious of only consuming media that is nourishing for me.

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Naomi February 18, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Kathleen ~ I absolutely know how you feel ~ I need quiet time too, like I need air and water! It’s harder to find in motherhood, isn’t it?!

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Lisa February 25, 2012 at 4:28 pm

Naomi- Totally agree- it is an offering to become the very best of who we are- absolutely! In my experience, I’ve also never felt so “uncomfortable” being less than who I deeply wanted to be than when I became a mother.

Love your distinction and reflection here!

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Dawn Lau February 17, 2012 at 6:36 pm

Wow!! What a great podcast interview. Mother of two toddlers here and I have gotten lost in being a Mom. I am learning slowly that it is ok to nourish myself and giving myself the time to just be Dawn again! Thank you for your encouragement to find those areas in our life that need nurturing whether it be emotionally, physically or creatively!! Have fun on the painting retreat!!

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Lisa February 25, 2012 at 4:29 pm

So glad you enjoyed it, Dawn!

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Carolyn February 18, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Thank you so much for this wonderful interview!, I am not a mother yet but I am someone who has ALWAYS needed permission for everything in my life and I am certain this will not change when I am blessed with children. It made me realize that there are so many people who are giving permission through work like this the key is really finding them and then surrounding yourself with their work!

Another part of the interview that I feel was spoken specifically for me, was when Andrea mentioned how independent she was and how she never wanted to ask for help, I live this way now and it is so refreshing for me to know that I am going to need to ask for help, so practice early!

Oh and yet another part of this interview (did you create this just for me?) was when Lisa spoke about the role of women and how drastically it has changed, I struggle with this as well because I am so career driven, very self sufficient and that has been my ONLY identity. Yet there is this voice inside me that keeps yelling “you need to stay at home and make lunches because that is what YOU need in your life right now” I am certainly not suggesting that stay a home mother only makes lunch, but I think there is an inner struggle with some women when they want to make that shift but they are not quite sure how to do that.

Thanks again this was really meaningful for me!
Carolyn

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Lisa February 25, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Mmm, love LOVE hearing these reflections. In some ways what we miss most about being raised in a society without these conversations happening BEFORE we become mothers is proper expectations about what mothering is about and what it can bring up.

So grateful for your insights!

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Martianne February 18, 2012 at 8:23 pm

As a SAHM of three 96, 4.5 and 19 mos.), who homeschools and also cobbles together several WAHM and WOTM (work outside the home) contracts, blogs for fun and community, volunteers with a few things, etc., I definitely needed to hear “You can do it all; you just cannot do it all right now.” For, unlike your experiences, ladies, where Motherhood seemed to make you more efficient and the pruning required by it helped you grow, I have been finding that Motherhood has brought on what I sometimes call, tongue-in-cheek – adult-inset ADHD for me. I was very efficient and balances SO much prior to marriage and kids usually with great success. I was known for “doing it all and then same”, even if I rarely felt that way about myself. Now, things have changed.

As a mom, I cannot seem to find the same efficiency I once did – or even come close to it. By default, I have had to limit my commitments and learn to say “no”. However, it has not helped much. The single, multi-faceted commitment of motherhood is much more involved and time-consuming than any job, volunteer venture or other call I have ever faced.

I am not complaining about it. In fact, I feel privileged to live this call. I am still trying to come to terms, however, with how much more I guess I need to prune.

Your honest discussion offers some great pointers for doing so — the litmus test, the idea of taking time for yourself, the “stories” we may not need to be paying attention to.

Thank you.

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Lisa February 25, 2012 at 4:33 pm

Martianne-

So so true. And readjusting how we get things done as a mother is important. I used to have long stretches of time to work and focus and see things through all at once- I’ve had to radically change my working “conditions” in order to all “good enough” so I keep moving forward and doing things I love.

Beautiful discussion.

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Ruthie February 21, 2012 at 9:31 pm

I really identified with so much of this interview. Thank you both for taking time to share your stories! I, too, feel like we’re redefining or struggling to redefine motherhood in our generation. We recognized that we don’t want to bust through the glass ceiling to prove that we’re as good as men, but we don’t want to be dismissed as “less than” because we choose motherhood. I frequently am so frustrated with trying to make good career choices when my family comes first over everything else. I’ve turned down opportunities to get ahead because my kids matter more to me. I am even considering a career change (more like a realignment with my heart) because of the huge lessons I’ve learned in becoming a mother. If I don’t pay attention to my body and my inner voice, how do I expect my children to do the same? I am a role model to them. I regret a lot of choices I made because I was too afraid to listen or follow my inner knowing, but I accept that I did the best that I could with what I had at the time.

I, too, liked the phrase “You can do it all; you just can’t do it all right now.” In truth, I don’t think we can ever do it all, but that doesn’t mean we should give up on our hopes and dreams. I just think that the timescale is vastly different from what we’ve been brought up to believe. Think of how long it takes some things on Earth to change, yet we expect ourselves to be at the top of the ladder in every area of our lives. We deserve to take a step back and BREATHE and find the rhythms of nature again.

Now, if I could just figure out how to afford health insurance and make enough money … I would be on my way! :)

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Lisa February 25, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Ruthie-
I love your point on “You can do it all”…I’ve often reframed that – I can’t do it all- and neither can anyone else. But I can do that which is most important to me…and having my priorities and interests clarified so I don’t spin my wheels trying to do what is not my priority is hugely helpful in my peace of mind.

I also try and remember every yes I say is a no- and vice versa. Often when I’m making a decision to take something on I literally ask myself- what exactly am I saying no to if I say yes to this. It is a helpful assessment tool for me.

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Cindy February 22, 2012 at 7:23 pm

Refreshing. Inspiring. Confirming. Good stuff. So honest. I am mostly holding on to the truth that we are truly “cracked open” when given the opportunity to parent a child. And as if that isn’t enough… Taking our relationship with spouse to next level of deep and real partnership simultaneously! Hooray for this life. Thank you ladies. Big love!

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Lisa February 25, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Oh goodness, yes Cindy! How to grow a marriage while raising kids- such an important topic to unearth as well.

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Jenna February 23, 2012 at 8:29 pm

What a great honest conversation. Thank you for sharing the tender parts of mothering, and becoming a mother. I also struggled with infertility and it is refreshing to hear someone else speak about it so honestly and openly.

Thank you!

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Lisa February 25, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Thank you- Jenna for being part of this!

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Katie February 24, 2012 at 4:45 pm

So much good stuff in this interview. One part stuck a nerve with me though and that was the conversation about jealousy being a signal that you need to do that thing the other person is doing that you’re jealous of. This seems like a slippery slope for me. I allow myself to do things for myself and for my art within reason but I am also jealous constantly of opportunities I can t take because I am not able to take the time away from my family or day job and I don’t have the money for. For me that jealousy does me no good. It’s my little ego raging away. The only thing that helps is to choose my opportunities wisely and to not compare my life to anyone else’s. To delay gratification sometimes and to remind myself that one day I’ll get to do it. So when you’re jealous I think it’s important to really take a look at where that emotion is coming from.

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Tala February 25, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Again, very timely! I love what Andrea said about being a Supermom! It’s being honest when you need help or outsource! It’s not taking it all in and as you said that’s “crazy-making!” And isn’t that more courageous and authentic? And if I may add… ask help, outsource with no guilt or shame! Loving this gathering :-) Very honored to be part of the conversation!

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Lisa February 25, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Absolutely -we need to redefine what being courageous and authentic is for sure!

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Sara Mummolo February 26, 2012 at 3:42 am

Talk about being in the right place at the right time. Even though I’ve told myself time and again not to feel overwhelmed when I’m “behind” in getting to all of this amazing material-I find myself constantly reminding myself to MAKE TIME to listen to the interviews because I feel so much better afterward! I came to listen to this interview at the most absolute perfect time-even day-of my life. THANK YOU Lisa for all of your amazing work!

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Lauren Nicole March 1, 2012 at 7:27 pm

I really felt myself perk up when Andrea began describing the way she and her husband decided to start being excited for the other spouse’s opportunities. My husband and I are in this bad pattern of resenting the other spouse’s opportunities. I have been trying to change my reactions and make them positive when he has an individual opportunity, but I keep getting the same negative feedback from him when I have an individual opportunity. My hope was that if I modeled the behavior, maybe my husband would follow suit, but that subtle approach has not worked. So, maybe it’s time for a heart-to-heart discussion like what Andrea described.

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Erin March 5, 2012 at 9:30 pm

I think this interview started a little…disjointed maybe, but then it turned into something great as you two connected more and talked more freely.

What really opened up for me was when Andrea talked about how thinking she was alone in motherhood became damaging. I have never thought that I thought I was alone in it, but I realized I create that aloneness around myself. I to was (am) independent, like doing things for myself, have trouble accepting help and so in that, I have trouble being a partner. So clear to me, just at this moment. My partnership with my husband struggles because I am not a partner in it. Wow. Yikes.

Also loved the part about saying yes to things..luxurious things. And thinking about why I am afraid to ask for them. I think what she lead me to is that I am creating the story of not being able to do them and that I will be judged or have to pay a price for it if I do. But my husband is very supportive, so that is probably my story creating him that way, not how he actually is. Yikes again.

Thanks!

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